Home . . .

The most difficult moment . . . walking through the door of Home without Sweet Pea. I see all the preparation that took place in anticipation of Sweet Pea’s arrival home . . .
. . . the car seat and stroller
. . . the “organized” closet full of her clothes and the changing table
. . . her sweet bassinet in Mama’s room . . . the matching swing
. . . her precious picture on the counter for G’ma and Nicky to see every day.

I don’t even have the emotional energy to cry anymore. It will all be dealt with at some point . . . but not right now, not today.

Tomorrow . . . maybe the pain will begin to subside. Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and it will all just be a dream, a horrible nightmare! I will wake up and have my precious Sweet Pea and all will be right with the world!

Tomorrow . . . God, could you please begin working the miracle, so all will be right tomorrow?

Today . . . I need to hug my sweet boy, my Nicky. Try to help him understand why his mama is so sad and his little sister is not here. What do you say to a 6 year old that can even begin to explain it? Nothing . . . really. He is still too young to understand why the very innocent of our world . . . our children . . . become tragic victims!

But, his questions need to be answered . . . “what happened, Mama?” Deep breath, steady voice . . . My dear Lord . . . give me the right words . . .

Mama